EUGENE SANTA PUB CRAWL FAQ



Q: WHAT IS THE EUGENE SANTA PUB CRAWL?

Well it is a tradition whose origins are steeped in mystery, but suffice it to say that for a number of years a bunch of fun-minded Eugene folks have dressed up in Santa gear (as well as elves & reindeer and the occasional penguin) and gone pub crawling en masse (In recent years we've had over 150  Santas!) to some local watering holes and have a BLAST!.

Along the way we give out candy and little gifts to unwitting passersby, sing slightly naughty Christmas Carols and help spread (and drink) some Holiday Cheer. Along with all the fun, we'll have Designated Drivers, Musicians, Santa Marching Songs and free Santa Carol books,trinkets and  commemorative buttons (yours to keep)!

So, if you haven't ever been out roaming the street as one of a THRONG of Santas, you can't imagine the fun, the sheer POWER OF SANTA, mark your calendars and get your red coat & boots cleaned and ready!!!


Invite your friends. Any and all Santas, Elves & Reindeer are welcome.

Q: "DOES IT COST ANYTHING?"

A: No, other than any beverages you choose to purchase from the stops along the way. We do ask for a $2.00 - $3.00 donation to the Santa Fund to help cover costs including the carolbooks and such, but that is at your discretion. 

We do this for fun, not profit (any leftover funds go to a local charity each year)

Click on the paypal link below if you'd like to
donate to this years Santa Pub Crawl Fund:

 

Q: "DO I REALLY HAVE TO WEAR A WHOLE SANTA OUTFIT?"

A: YES!!!  Well, you SHOULD..It's LOTS of fun...but you don't HAVE to. The whole event has a much better effect the more people are decked out in a complete suit....BUT if you wear at LEAST a Santa hat you will be considered one of us...

Q: "HEY, I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF DOUGH TO LAY OUT FOR A SANTA SUIT. DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET A CHEAP ONE?"

A: Here are some great sources for cheap santa suits:

1. The classic cheap Santa Suits come from Oriental Trading Company (www.oriental.com) 800-228-2269
They have 3-day shipping for not too much extra.

2. SHOPKO

Rumor has it that Shopko has Santa Suits....

3. LAST-DITCH EFFORT SANTA SUIT

SweatpantsSweatshirthat

If you can't bring yourself to dole out that much for a full suit, then go for the HomeMade Last-Ditch Suit. Red Sweats can usually be gotten pretty cheap at K-Mart (last year someone got a set of sweatshirt AND sweatpants there for $9.95) add a $3.00 Santa hat and you are all set!


Q: OKAY, I'VE GOT MY SANTA SUIT, NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

A: The Pub crawl will wind it's way to our host establishments in the general downtown area, with 30 minute stops at each.
At each stop we will hand out candy & presents, sing songs, and have a beverage.

There will be some "Walk-throughs" where we will NOT stop for drinks,
but simply do the "Santa Conga" through the establishment, perhaps sing a carol or two, then leave.

Towards the end of the itinerary, there will be Designated Drivers available to give rides home for those elves who nip too much.


Q: "ARE WE GONNA GET REALLY ROWDY?

A: If you want to get THAT rowdy, join the Anarchist movement. This is NOT Santarchy, it is a civil pub-crawl.
We are just some jolly elves spreading holiday cheer. Please see the
Guide to good Santa-ing.




PUB CRAWL MAP & ITINERARY:

 

COMING SOON!



There will be Designated Santas
available to shuttle over-indulgent Santas home.






SANTA ETIQUETTE:



1) PACE YOURSELF.
Santa is a jolly old elf, but if he has a few
too many tequila shots, he can become ugly.
No more than ONE drink per venue should be consumed.

2) OBEY ALL LOCAL LAWS.
Especially if there are representatives
of our fine Eugene Police Department about.
Don't jaywalk!
Eugene has NO extradition treaty with the North Pole

3) THE SANTA MANTRA:

Let us not forget the sacred "four f*cks" of the Santa Pub Crawl:

DON'T F*CK WITH THE COPS.
If the cops tell you to do something, DO IT. If you want to get busted, do it when you and I aren't dressed the same.

DON'T F*CK WITH SECURITY/MANAGMENT.

If they ask you to leave the Bar/Restaurant etc. get the hell out and be nice about it, or other Santas will take crap for it. Besides, they might call the cops and then we're dealing with the first f*ck.

DON'T F*CK WITH LITTLE KIDS.
We're serious; this is supposed to be fun. Holidays are unpleasant enough for kids these days. If we can't brighten it at least we can be one less worry for them. If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on their parents.

Remember: The kids of today are the Santas of tomorrow.

DON'T F*CK WITH SANTA

I just might puke on your suit, you damned impostor.


4) SANTA PR (TALKING POINTS)

(with thanks to Santa of Santahammy)

How we deal with the public is very simple:

The answer is SANTA!


Who's in charge?
"SANTA."

Who are you with? "SANTA."

What organization are you with? "SANTA."

Who organized this? "SANTA."

Who's that woman? "SANTA."

Who's that guy? "SANTA."

How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer."


There are always folks who figure honesty is the best policy and that's fine. The aforementioned statements are true. Well, the last one is a stretch for some but what the hey.

Remember: Dumb stares are easy. If you can't be clever, don't be a rat. Heck, who put you in charge anyway? You don't know anything. You just showed up in your Santa suit because the voices in your head told you to. People work hard to pull this shindig together. The least you can do is act dumb and cover their butt in case of trouble
.


5) More Santa Q & A

Here are some common questions that Santa gets asked...and some suggested answers:

"Why are you all dressed up like Santa?"

-  "It's CHRIIIISTMAAAAS. We're SAAAANTA." said kinda slowly with lots of emphasis like the person to whom you're talking is mildly retarded.

-  Why aren't you?

-  Didn't you get the memo?

-  Because our gorilla suits are in the laundry.

-  Or, if we happen to be at a market, "Well, we came all this way for some oranges... we have terrible produce up at the north pole and all the elves have scurvy."

-  I decided to leave my Salvation Army job and join a gang

-  I have a Santa fetish.

-  What? Who? (Turn around, act surprised to see a bunch of Santas) - Oh, sh*t!

-  I'm only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa.

-  To mollify a deep-seated neurosis.

-  This is a pick-up location for day labor Santas.

-  We're undercover. I'd leave the area if I were you.

-  I don't know who these impostors are but they're following me everywhere.

-  I hope I'm not the first to tell you this, but you know Santa Claus isn't real, right?

-  What Santas?  I don't see anyone else dressed like this. You must be hallucinating. Better knock off the cough medicine.

-  I don't know about those guys, but this is what I always wear on my days off.  I just figured it got trendy.

-  The nuclear plant up at the North Pole had a melt down and caused some weird mutations. We just woke up one morning and were all there. It was pretty freaky.

"Am I to understand that SANTA is responsible for this mayhem?"

-  Yes, officer. Wait, you said SANTA and not SATAN, right?

"Why are there 100 of you?"

-  Well, why is there only one of you?

 "What is that Santa doing standing around with his Santa pants around his ankles...?"

umm... peeing in the gutter?

"What is this?"

-  Apparently, there is this guy that lives at the North Pole who likes to give out gifts one day a year.  We just thought it would be fun to dress like him and run amuck in this fair city.  A bunch of drunk Santas.  What's it look like to you?


Santa Do's:

DO address every Santa as Santa, in the first, second, and third person, singular and plural.

DO have something ready to hand out, even if it's just candy canes.

DO Make sure to tell innocent bystanders if they are on your NAUGHTY or NICE list...


CLICK HERE FOR SANTA PICK-UP LINES


Remember... that you are SANTA. SANTA is an ambassador of good tidings and joy, and should act accordingly.
If...any authority-type figures want to talk to who's in charge,
point them in the direction of Santa Juke (He's the fall-guy in case we get in trouble)

Any Questions?

Want to be added to the Eugene Santa Pub Crawl Email List?

Click Here to Email Santa Juke for Answers