(be careful here...)

"I can make you jiggle like a bowl full of jelly!"

"Want to pet my elf?" 

"Would you like to go to my place and light my Yule log?"

"I'd definitely let you join in MY reindeer games."

"What do you say we make this a not-so-silent night?"

"Hey, a one-horse open sleigh isn't the only fun thing to ride."

"So, what'll it be -- naughty or nice?"

"Believe me, if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows."

"Yes, that IS a candy cane in my pocket and I AM glad to see you !"

"Ever do it in a sleigh?"

"That's not a candy cane, baby"

"No, that's a misprint; It should say "Jolly old St. D*ck."

"Come sit on my lap and let me give you a big present."

"You know what they say about the size of a man's beard..."

"Let me put my lump of coal in your stocking."

"Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

Wanna see my 12-inch elf?"

Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?"

I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!"

"Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it ...)"

"I see you when you`re sleeping--and you don`t wear any underwear, do you?"

"Screw the "nice" list--I`ve got you on my "naughty" list!"

"Wanna join Santa's "Mile High" club?"

Any Questions?
Santa Juke (santajuke AT chefjuke DOT com) for Answers.